Off Target
by SuperMegaFoxyAwesomeHot
Summary: anon prompted: Kurt getting into bed (at the loft) really late after a long day of homework or a project for vogue, and in the morning he starts to kiss Blaine's neck and lets his hands roam and - he realizes he's not in his own bed, but in Rachel's.


**I love writing the three of them giving each other crap. :)**

* * *

Kurt slid open the loft door as quietly as he could, feeling exhausted yet victorious. He had locked himself in a study carrel at school at ten that morning with the goal of finishing his monster term paper, and fifteen hours later, he had achieved that goal just as the library was closing up for the night. All that was left for him to do was go home, take a shower, sleep for approximately three days, and submit the paper on Monday after some proofreading.

 _Maybe I can convince Blaine to go out for celebratory pancakes tomorrow morning_ , Kurt thought as he stumbled down the hallway to the bathroom. _God, pancakes sound good. And sleep. I miss sleep._

He took the quickest possible shower, stifling a squeal when he walked under the spray too early and got hit right in the chest with a blast of freezing water so he wouldn't wake Blaine or Rachel - one person being overtired in that loft was plenty. Foregoing the majority of his moisturizing routine, he slipped on his comfiest cotton pajamas and headed back down the hall, where he cuddled up next to a familiar lump in the sheets.

The last thing Kurt remembered thinking before collapsing into sleep was that Blaine's hair didn't smell quite right.

* * *

Nine hours later, Kurt woke up, still a little bleary but feeling mostly recovered. Without opening his eyes, he scooted forward a smidgen and started nosing at Blaine's neck, leaving little kisses and nips in random places.

Blaine let out a loud, somewhat unusually high-pitched moan.

"Wow, I found your sweet spot quickly," Kurt commented, surprised. "Also, I think your diet's been working a little too well, B, it feels like you're wasting away."

Kurt started sliding his hands up Blaine's chest, intending to sink them into his hair, when two things made him freeze.

One, Blaine's voice came from near the foot of the bed saying, "I think there's another explanation for that, babe," and two, his hands were reporting that the Blaine in his bed had long hair and breasts.

Kurt shot upright, eyes flying open, to reveal -

"Rachel?!"

"No, don't stop," Rachel said sleepily, not fully awake yet.

"Why is she in our bed?" Kurt asked, turning to Blaine.

"Other way around, Kurt," Blaine said, shoulders shaking with suppressed laughter.

"No! That's not - I got home last night and - fuck," Kurt said, realizing that he was so tired last night that he could've walked into a completely different building and thought he was home. "I think I fucked up."

"Is there something you'd like to tell me about how you and Rachel spent your time together before I moved in?" Blaine teased. "I mean, you were both pretty into each other just now."

"I thought she was you!" Kurt defended, but Blaine just chortled away.

"You know that you can never use the original Rachel Berry trainwreck extravaganza against me now, right?" Blaine asked. "Not after this."

"You kissed her on purpose!" Kurt said. "This was a terrible, terrible accident."

"Wow, that makes me feel great about myself," Rachel chimed in, yawning and sitting up. "Love you too, Kurt."

"Shut up, you know I love you," Kurt said, pulling her in for a side-hug. "I just don't love you like that."

"I suppose I'll get over it eventually," Rachel said playfully, snuggling into Kurt's side. "I'll just have to date your brother or something."

"Hell, I'm dating the man everyone _thinks_ is your brother, so I guess that's fair," Kurt said, motioning with his free hand for Blaine to come join them. "We'll just be one big somewhat incestuous family in the eyes of the public."

"It worked for Angelina Jolie, didn't it?" Blaine said, curling up on Kurt's other shoulder.

"If I ever decide I want to emulate that particular stage of Angie's illustrious career, one of you two has to shoot me," Kurt said. "I'm not kissing Finn."

"You just ki-"

"I will go out for pancakes _alone_ if either one of you finishes that sentence," Kurt warned.

"Pancakes?" Blaine and Rachel asked simultaneously, creepily similar expressions of longing appearing on their faces.

"I deserve a good breakfast after finishing the paper from hell," Kurt said. "I take it you're both interested?"

"You know us so well, babe," Blaine said. He got a sly look on his face before continuing, "One could even say... _intimately._ "

Rachel snorted, making Blaine start laughing at his own joke, and soon enough, they were both having fits. Kurt didn't know whether he loved or hated them more in that moment.

(He got his comeuppance when the waitress asked if "that cute gentleman's little sister" was in town for a college visit, though. At least until Rachel retaliated by stealing the fresh blueberries off the top of his food.)


End file.
